We live in a time of government over reach. We must raise our children to toe the line, not just to wait for their number at the DMV to be called, but to count themselves fortunate to be in that line, by golly. Anthony Esolen, understanding that imagination leads to independence and the inability to bolster the status quo, has given us a valuable guide to raising up children who are docile, obedient, able to please Big Brother. The following tactics should be the mainstay of all good parenting in our day. Thanks to Dr. Esolen, we can raise a generation of peaceful, mild, half-smiling kids that don’t rock any boats and don’t ever, ever, ever get dirty. Memorize these points; our government’s future depends upon it.
1. Keep your child indoors as much as possible – nature is a nasty and imaginative place
2. Never leave children to themselves – they might learn how to organize themselves
3. Keep children away from machines and machinists – good consumers throw it away, they don’t fix it
4. Replace the fairy tale with political cliches and fads – give them all the Shrek they can take (all witty people are really donkeys anyway)
5. Cast aspersions upon the heroic and the patriotic – loving a cause can give you imagination real fast
6. Cut all heroes down to size – nothing should be larger than we already are
7. Reduce all talk of love to narcissism and sex – chemicals can’t love anyway, just take your soma and be quiet
8. Level distinctions between man and woman – I can do anything any woman can do
9. Distract the child with the shallow and the unreal – noise, folks, make it loud and non-stop
10. Deny the transcendent – this sort of sums it all up: remove all true, good, and beautiful from their lives and they will have nothing left but the DMV line.
If you would like to read Esolen’s entire book, it is here on amazon.
I would love to read your comments on the successes you have these timely principles. If you have time between filling out your health insurance papers that the IRS needs, and your tax forms that you need to take to your doctor, give me an anecdote or two about how successful these things have been with your own little civic young people. And may the Government bless you.